


The Natural Progression of Things

by gwendee



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Actors, Alternate Universe, Crack Treated Seriously, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, OR IS IT, Oblivious, Post-Canon, Pulling The Long Con, Social Media, Time Skips, or are they
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24373048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendee/pseuds/gwendee
Summary: “Of course I asked out the girl who broke my dad’s laptop. What better way to piss him off? ”“If I had that step stool that one time when I wanted to reach for the top shelf, you wouldn’t even be here.”Or: Akari Yukimura and Gakushuu Asano pull what is possibly the worst long con for a fake relationship ever.
Relationships: Asano Gakushuu/Kayano Kaede
Comments: 38
Kudos: 166





	The Natural Progression of Things

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't ask me anything, I have no answers to your questions. Don't talk to me. I wrote this in 3 hours today and I'm posting this immediately after. If something is off it's because I didn't proofread it. I'm crying. This is all I am now. Reduced to a puddle of tears and words. I will die on this hill, stab me with a swordfish. 
> 
> #Kayano Kaede DESERVED BETTER. Pre-reveal Kayano Kaede is plain, unassuming, and doesn't have much personality - which is actually great, because she's supposed to be undercover. That's the perfect forgettable persona!!!  
> But the problem is of course that by the time Kayano reaches her main plot point that actually makes her an interesting character, it's already the later half of season two and everybody has their own favorites by now. That, and the reveal was so poorly set up! (Let's face it, almost seeing the silhouette of what could be maybe tentacles in the background of 3 different manga panels throughout like 100 chapters does NOT constitute a great setup for a plot twist.)  
> Also, they made her post-reveal personality the exact COPY of her pre-reveal personality. THAT'S BORING. NO. (They did such a great job with Itona's pre and post tentacles!) I remember the narration vaguely explaining it like "Kayano discovered love and friendship, and truly became the nice girl like she pretended to be." No oh my god change it back, pre-canon Akari was the coolest. She knew Yanagisawa was full of shit. She smashed Gakuhou's stuff. Injected tentacles into the back of her neck. Held a grudge for a whole year and waited for so long until it was time to kill Koro-sensei. SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SO COOL. THIS IS AN INJUSTICE.

**Gakushuu/Kayano**

Nobody knows how it happened. The couple themselves probably know even less.

\--

Akari nicked his number off Karma’s phone one afternoon for fun, but it’s Gakushuu who calls her first. How he had gotten her number in the first place she can’t say for certain, but everyone knows Karma likes to leave his stuff lying around. 

\--

They’re both actors of different kinds, but they’ve been playing a character ever since they were old enough to remember. Akari’s been a dozen different people by the time she first meets Asano Gakushuu, aged 14. He’s erratic, temperamental, but he switches between his many business personalities in a blink. It’s something she finds interesting, and as a professional, she subconsciously critiques the cracks around his mask.

At the end of it all she adopts Kayano Kaede for 3-E. They’re more comfortable with that, anyways, and she doesn’t quite have a preference.

\--

It’s not real, when Gakushuu first calls her. It’s funny, because she never liked his father - the ex-principal - anyways, so she accepts his proposition. Dress up all pretty and smile sickly sweet and hang off Gakushuu’s arm for a dinner. He’s nice enough to her, and buys her something pretty to make up for it, although in her opinion the aghast look on her ex-principal’s face is good enough. 

“You broke my father’s laptop,” Gakushuu had said. “Go out with me.” Straight to the point. How tactful. It’s one of the things about him that she appreciates. He’s still playing a role with her, as she is to him, but he’s always concise with his expectations. Akari weaves around the sharks in the media industry and while she can play the game, it’s a nice break to be able to take things as they are.

It’s far too much effort to dance around something that could be straight-to-the-point like that, anyways. Akari and Gakushuu - Asano, then, he was still Asano - are busy people, too busy to talk in circles around one another. 

She has so much fun the first dinner, that she invites him to one of her own. Red carpet events, agents, publicity, blah blah blah. He’s the most obvious option. Nagisa is too camera-shy, and Karma just can’t be expected to behave himself. She and Asano had made a surprisingly photogenic couple. 

\--

So Akabane blows up at Gakushuu. It’s something to be expected, but it’s still surprising how protective he actually is of his friends. Gakushuu manages to get his phone out of his pocket before Karma mauls him - as much as Gakushuu hates to admit it he’s not the one with assassin training, and he’s smart enough to not fight a losing battle.

“Honestly,” Yukimura’s voice rings out in the hallway, (Gakushuu pressed speaker because there was no time for anything else), and the gallery of students who have surrounded to watch the fight now zero in on the phone in Gakushuu’s hands. “Karma, please leave my boyfriend alone.”

\--

It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. Gakushuu’s already popular enough. He doesn’t really need Yukimura’s contacts for his entourage, he knows plenty of stars in the industry already, but it helps. The biggest takeaway from him is, of course, pissing his father off. It’s hilarious, and Yukimura has as much fun doing it. 

His father has a lot to say about dating Akari Yukimura but he says none of them. It helps that Yukimura was never really afraid of Gakuho in the first place. 

He does return her the favors, of course, he’s a chivalrous fake boyfriend like that - but she lays it out in front of him as expected terms of his boyfriendly duties. “Kamira Hisuko’s been bothering me on set,” she tells him as she’s playing a game on her phone, (they’re on Gakushuu’s couch, within view of Gakuho who’s trying his best to ignore them).

“Is he?” Gakushuu says, so within the week Yukimura has a new co-star that knows not to put his hands in the wrong places. 

\--

They’re friends. It’s hard to spend so much time with someone and not have to get along with them. But to Akari’s pleasant surprise, Asano is not a hard person to get along with.

It does help that they’re both still playing their roles. They mold themselves to fit the expectations of what the other wants, so of course they get along. They made this version of themselves for that purpose. 

Asano is opinionated, and despite his best efforts his opinions are always at odds with Akari’s. That’s okay, though, because it leads to surprisingly insightful and enjoyable debates. They’re cordial enough about it too, and they’ve learnt to agree to disagree. They agree to disagree a lot.

Her friends are skeptical. 3-E are good friends, and she sees why they are. She’s still Kayano Kaede in front of them, and Kayano Kaede is not a good match for the Gakushuu Asano that they remember so vividly from their middle school years. Karma is more quiet about his reservations, but Akari knows (Asano tells her) that he and Karma are quite civil towards each other. Perhaps Karma sees something that no one else in 3-E does.

\--

They kiss. They hold hands. On good days they sit so close to each other it might be considered cuddling. It’s all for a good show. 

Their casual public affection navigates to their private space. It’s not intentional, but it’s not unwelcome - it’s just a natural progression of things. Gakushuu doesn’t touch when she doesn’t want him to (it’s basic decency), and because of that she grows comfortable with him, and he does with her. It works in their favor, because it helps them be more natural around each other.

She’s small, in his arms. Small but not delicate. She’s lean with muscle, and she does her own stunts. It’s rather impressive to know that, when he sees her on the big screen - no wires, no CGI. Just pure Akari Yukimura. 

\--

Gakushuu finds out he likes playing with her hair. Yukimura knows, and she lets him do it. She has pretty, long, black hair that tumbles down to her waist, and Gakushuu buys a large bristle comb for it, but forgoes it in favor of his fingers. (It’s cathartic, he says, like stroking a cat. She elbows him in the gut for that one. Good kitty.)

He starts off as a shit braider. He gets better at it, until at some point it’s deemed good enough that Yukimura actually lets Gakushuu do her hair. At some point Yukimura turns to Akari and Asano turns to Gakushuu. It’s just a natural progression of things. It’s been 2 years, coming to 3, they can’t keep calling each other by their last names.

\--

So Gakushuu goes off to college. Akari’s not there to see him off because she’s in Hong Kong filming for a new drama series. After he leaves she realizes that she does miss him. They’re not really dating, but they are friends.

They keep in touch. It’s hard because of timezones, and when they cannot call, they text. Akari starts to appreciate it as a regular part of her Saturday night schedule. 

When the date nears, she realizes that she’d spent the last few years of her sister’s death anniversary with him. There’s no way to do that now. She calls up Karma and Nagisa and books a brunch with them so she doesn’t feel alone. The day comes, however - a wednesday, off schedule for their calls - Gakushuu calls her anyways. He keeps her company until she has to leave to meet the others (it’s 4 in the morning Gakushuu, for fuck’s sake, go to sleep). Surprisingly he calls again at night, and they speak until the wee hours of Akari’s morning, and Gakushuu begs off for his afternoon classes. She wakes up to see a screenshot of her sleeping form over Skype posted on Gakushuu’s social media, and the only reason she doesn’t ream him for it is because she actually looks good in that one.

\--

Gakushuu will never admit it, but he’s homesick. Despite hating Gakuho for a greater part of his childhood, he loves him. Akari does the graceful deed and visits Gakuho for him, and sends him many many pictures of Gakuho’s disgruntled face when he sees her. Gakushuu laughs.

He’s not there for her publicity events when he’s off in college but that doesn’t stop Akari from hearing about him. 

“How is it like being in a long-distance relationship?” 

“What are your future plans?”

“Isn’t it so cute that you two are middle-school sweethearts?”

“When are you guys tying the knot?”

The last question in particular comes up more often, when they’re nearing the 5 year mark of their relationship. She’s 20 now, and Gakushuu is making fun of her for dating a younger man (by a goddamn month!) He better be glad that the Pacific Ocean is keeping her from kicking his ass. Gakushuu had surprised her with international flowers that he sent her money for her to buy for herself, with a personalized message he messaged her at 3am. She printed it out on an embossed card, typo and all, and posted it to her stories. The world loved it.

There has been no formal discussion on how long this fake relationship should last them. Gakushuu’s grown beyond the petty stage of pissing his father off (although he still admits it’s a perk), and strangely enough Akari thinks Gakuho started to reluctantly like her, or something. How weird. 

The arrangement still reaps benefits for Akari, though, because it keeps her from harassment. Her fellow artistes that have gotten into fresh relationships have noted an immediate drop in popularity - something about the single status seems to gain more attention. Strangely enough, her ratings stay high in the fluctuating market of harried dating. Her publicist tells her that a long-lasting relationship builds points in the eyes of the public - she’s Japan’s untouchable family friendly sweetheart, the idol of middle and high school children with their puppy loves, the relationship ”role model” for parents to point out to their children, an outlet for people to vicariously live out their hot CEO dating dreams through her.

Gakushuu laughs. He’s not interested in anyone, he says, he has nothing against it’s continued existence. “I don’t have time,” he says, “for dating.” Then he appraises her with a look in his eye (or as much as he can over a computer screen.) “Thank god you’re so low maintenance.” 

Akari throws a pillow at her webcam. 

\--

Their reunion is publicized, so of course they make it as dramatic as possible. Gakushuu never thought he’d have a girl fetch him off the plane at 22.

Akari says, “I can’t believe I have to wake up this early for you.”

Gakushuu points out, “you didn’t have to.” 

Akari says, “shut up.”

Gakushuu says, “missed you.”

Akari rolls her eyes and says, “ew. Sap. Missed you too.”

It’s heralded the sweetest moment in HarunaShuu history. There are gifs on it over the internet. Gakushuu is tired, and Akari refuses to help carry his bags, so he lugs them all the way home. His father is waiting, and he makes a face when Akari traipses up to Gakushuu’s room. There’s almost awkwardness until Akari says, “I can’t believe you didn’t throw away that sticky note for four years,” and Gakushuu empties the contents of his clothes luggage over her head.

\--

When Akari says, “oh, no, not yet,” on national television, it sends Japan into a frenzy. Ren drops him a phone call to tell him he’s disappointed. His father looks relieved, and also disappointed. His new colleagues look doubly disappointed, and his new supervisor takes the effort to pause in his briefing to shake his head in Gakushuu’s direction.

The interview in question? “I believe you and your boyfriend had a very _wonderful_ reunion after such a long time apart!”

“What? Oh, haha, oh, no, not yet, I’m afraid.”

Gakushuu breaks Akari’s door down - figuratively. “Why didn’t you just lie?”

Akari blinks over at him with disinterest, (she’s currently watching a western drama on the television,) rakes her eyes up and down his body, rolls them, and turns back to her television.

Her publicist loves it. “You are the golden child,” she tells Akari seriously, “Japan loves you.” Then says to Gakushuu, “good job. Keep it up.”

Gakushuu makes a face.

“Stop sending me condom links I don’t need any” hits first on national trending. “How did Akari guess my twitter password” hits second. “Don’t set it as my birthday then idiot” hits third.

(It’s not actually Akari’s birthday. It’s Gakuho’s. But whatever gets retweets, right?)

\--

They’re 23 when it happens. It’s a natural progression of things. There’s a bottle of sake between the two of them - not enough to get them drunk, just until their boundaries are loose and tongues looser. 

Gakushuu spends a stupid long time on her bra. No, he actually gets it off fairly quickly. He just spends a stupid long time playing with it (maybe they’re drunker than they think?) until she smacks him. 

(“W-wait, I’m going to google it,” Akari giggles. "How do you have s-"

“No!” Gakushuu laughs, and attempts to smack the phone from her hand.)

It’s stupid, awkward, funny, and they do it wrong five times. It’s both their firsts. They both decide to keep it a secret from the public for their images, but they’re clearly not as secretive as they would have liked, and Gakuho doesn’t look them in the eye all morning. 

It’s the morning after that Akari wonders about their future. Specifically, “how long will we keep this up?”

“Hm?” Gakushuu cracks an eye open to look at her. He has ridiculous bedhead. “Dunno. Whenever you want.”

“Cool,” Akari says. 

But they do discuss more about it, here and there. They’ll “break up” if the relationship is more effort to maintain than it is to reap the benefits, or if one of them starts liking someone else.

Those are agreeable terms. It’s a very low effort relationship, considering it has lasted 7 years and spanned two continents. Gakushuu had said it as a joke, but Akari is a low maintenance partner, as Gakushuu is to her. It helps that there are no expectations of commitment, or emotional strain. They have fun, and it’s good for Akari’s image. It’s arguably good for Gakushuu’s, too. He gets promoted quick, and he jumps two positions after Akari shakes his boss’ hand at an office party. Gakushuu says it’s all him. Akari begs to differ. (But Gakushuu is very capable, without her. He could have gotten those promotions anyways. Akari wouldn’t say that to his face, of course, his ego is as big enough as it is.)

\--

They haven’t even said a single “I love you” when they get engaged at 25. It’s something an interviewer says to Akari once - she watches the replay, when they ask her about marriage. She’s surprised to see how soft her smile looks when she answers. Gakushuu asks her to marry him on a Sunday night. There are candles, roses, and possibly a hundred cameras in the background. 

She cries. This one isn’t an act, because Gakushuu had gotten her dream proposal. (The paparazzi she could have maybe done without, but she gets what must be a thousand gorgeous pictures of the two of them later on, so maybe that’s a plus). 

Sue her, she’s a traditional romantic. She wants flowers, lights, stars, the whole works. He gives her all of that - no fireworks, they sound too much like gunshots for her taste, but there are lanterns floating into the air. They’re calling it the Tangled Disney proposal, but Akari knows Gakushuu did it for Koro-sensei. 

The final touch that seals the deal for Akari (if it hadn’t already) is her sister. He’d asked her for permission. He puts on the same display for her - floating lanterns by her headstone - a week prior, and he shows her the video. “Of course I had to ask her, too,” Gakushuu says. “She’s part of the family.” 

Akari is going to marry him.

\--

Akari is a classy lady, and she _loves_ her dramatics. She lives for it, and has no qualms about spending his father’s money. Gakushuu spent a really long time working for the perfect proposal.

Karma fights him during the process, a lot. Karma doesn’t punch him in the face, but it’s a near thing. Gakushuu convinced him to help film at Aguri’s - he almost asked Ren, but felt that it was too personal to 3-E. Gakushuu himself felt like an outsider doing it. 

Nagisa is nice enough. He looks at Gakushuu like he still can’t quite convince himself that Akari is supposedly dating him, which, it might have been a lot better to break the news that they were in a fake relationship before Nagisa’s helping him pick rings. Which, all he gets is an amused eye roll at. "Sure," Nagisa says, or something like that.

“Yes, I get it,” he has to say, because this is happening too many times and it becomes frustrating. “A whole class of assassins. Kill me if I pull a single hair off her head. Is this fun for all of you? Do you coordinate this? Who gets to give me the shovel talk of the day?”

“Rio and Ryoma got into an argument because they both wanted to book the slot for next Friday,” Hazama shrugs. “There’s a surprising lack of practicality for assassination skills unless you actually become an assassin. This is probably the only time we can - well, aside from when everyone else gets hitched - we can use our assassin skills. I’m still waiting for someone to rob the library so I can stab them, but no go.”

Gakushuu sighs.

\--

Gakushuu doesn’t expect to be engaged this young. 25 is early to be married in this day and age. His father had him at 27. He’d thought he’d be at the top of the corporate ladder by the time he’s entertaining the possibility of family life, but here he is, at the junior managerial board and putting a ring on a pretty lady’s finger.

His father spends far too much money on the wedding. “Well,” he had sniffed, “what else am I going to spend this money on?” Akari’s gleefully swiping on everything that suits her whims. He’d read somewhere that most girls have planned their dream wedding since they were 5, or something like that. Ikeda killed himself when Gakushuu was 5, so his dreams went along then, but Akari seemed to be enjoying herself.

As much as it is a publicity stunt, it’s still their _goddamn wedding_. They don’t even have to debate between some press or no press - it's an unanimous no-press decision - and they decide to tape the whole thing instead. Their vows are a hit with their audience. 

“Of course I asked out the girl who broke my dad’s laptop. What better way to piss him off? ”

“If I had that step stool that one time when I wanted to reach for the top shelf, you wouldn’t even be here.”

They kiss, and they have a happy ever after, or something.

\--

Come to think of it, the 1% chance of Koro-sensei blowing up the earth is, statistically, incredibly large. It seems nothing to 14 year olds. It seems nothing to adults too, up until that 1% throws a spanner in the works. Goddammit, birth control. Akari would switch to a different brand if it wasn't already too late.

They have a serious conversation about it. Sit down, television off, spreadsheets (courtesy of Gakushuu), wikihow articles (courtesy of Akari) and hot tea in mugs type of serious. Only after is a consensus reached, do they revert to dramatism. Because what better way to cope with your emotions than to be unnecessarily over the top about them?

“I have a whole season of Distance lined up,” Akari groans. “I can’t do that with a baby bump!”

“What if I turn into my dad?” Gakushuu says in horror. He’s staring blankly at the window, like he’s debating jumping out of it. “Akari, I can’t turn into my dad.”

“You’re not going to,” Akari sniffs. “You’re going to be a good papa, okay?”

They do what they do best; fake it until they make it. Except it doesn’t work because prospective parenthood turns Gakushuu into a mess of a human being, and he outs them on national television. “Mr Asano, it’s been a while since we’ve heard from you! How are the newlyweds-”

“I’M NOT READY TO BE A DAD!”

Akari turns off her phone for the day. He gets to be the one who deals with the aftermath. 

\--

Gakushuu’s on the floor of their new nursery - sleeves rolled up, brows furrowed in concentration, trying to dismantle the IKEA shelf that he assembled wrongly because he wouldn’t look at the goddamn instructions-

He puts his screwdriver down, sets the wooden board to his side, and looks up at Akari (leaning by the doorway, working away at a cup of pudding, looking pretty happy with the baby bump despite it being the reason she was draped over the toilet seat all morning while Gakushuu patted her back) with genuine confusion in her eyes. “How did this happen?”

Akari knows he’s not asking about the shelf.

“Honey, I have no goddamn clue.”

**Author's Note:**

> (Aguri Asano is born on a saturday. It's a pretty good day.)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Adventures of Aguri Asano](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24491557) by [gwendee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendee/pseuds/gwendee)




End file.
